Unlucky Me?


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"But there's no point in looking back and saying I was unlucky."
-Jamie Redknapp-

Tonight is a very weird night. There is no thesis. Just a plain academic life. No worries about deadlines. Just a few assignments and reviews for quizzes the next day. A couple of hours to spend over a movie before retiring to bed and sleep peacefully. This is just one of the rare days I get to have. If only there can be more days like this, I would be very comfortable and have a very pleasant environment. Not too much worries. If only.

Yet, things are not what you want them to be. Tomorrow is the day that my adviser will give me the verdict. The final judgment. As if I am a convict waiting for the jury's verdict. I feel the worries gnawing me up to the very bit of molecules or atoms that made up my bones.

35 days to go. The line that stuck in my head after hearing it two days ago from a close friend. 35 days to go and it would all be over. But I asked myself how can I think of the 35th day when in fact, I haven't finished my thesis and considering it got a high probability of being dumped, making us start up from the very bottom.

Yes, I considered myself unlucky from the very start of the schoolyear. I never thought this would be this worse or worst. I tried to start my year with a good attitude promising myself that the last schoolyear would be the last time. Hell, and just when I have a good start when things turn against me.

Now, I don't believe anymore in luck. I do believe now that people make their own destiny. Fate got a little percentage of the whole existence of how human reacts in situations and how he brought himself to a particular situation. Its more on how people how people do it. They are the ones who runs their life, not fate nor luck.

Unlucky is me. Is all I can say. yes sometimes you are lucky and sometimes you fall into those category of the unlucky ones. I might be in the latter this time around. But I do wish that before the 35 days run out from me, I have to end up to the former category.


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